When I first moved here several years ago, I made a list of things almost unique to America that I would miss if I had to live somewhere else for more than 6 months. Included in the list: online banking, gift cards, self-serve checkout, free wifi, 24-hour stores, and printable maps with driving directions.

And there’s pre-cut fresh fruit in a tub. One of the modern grocery store’s strangely successful innovations, this provides easy snacking without the hassle of washing and slicing! Perfect for kids and lazy people. Now, raspberries and blueberries in a plastic tub is preposterous (people buy them anyway). But pre-cut pineapple is sheer genius. Who on earth knows how to cut a pineapple anyway?

Then last week Jason returned from his vacation in Hawaii with pineapple for me. A whole pineapple…!

After years of enjoying pre-cut fresh pineapple chunks, I finally have to figure out how to cut one up myself. All I can say is, thank you Internet.

Step 1: Lay the pineapple on its side.

Step 2: Slice off the top.

Step 3: Slice off the bottom.

Step 4: Now it can stand on a flat bottom. Slice off the skin. You can go straight down or try to do curved slices and make a mess like I did. Your choice.

Step 5: Yay clean pineapple! Now, turn it on its side again and start slicing discs.

Step 6: Almost there. Using a paring knife, cut away the hard core in the middle.

Step 7: Whee! You can stop here and grill them for some delicious caramelized pineapple rings. Or you can go with chunks for instant gratification.

Yes I ate a piece, okay?