My friend Christine and I did some freelance work developing their e-commerce website. The owners, Al, Steve and Paul, launched it at the Elysium in downtown Detroit last Saturday. I wonder how much it costs to host a party for 500 people at a popular club for a night.

Every year since I was born, my ama would hold a New Year’s Eve party at her house. There would be food, drinks, a band, dance instructors. This one regular guest and his wife would come decked out matching green sequined suits. The younger generation would hide at a dark table to avoid being asked to dance. Inevitably, we’d be found and miserably dragged to a swing or worse, line dance. As midnight approached, the guests would file outside with noisemakers and drink glasses in hand. Everyone counts down together and there go the fireworks display! A cacophonous celebration brings in the new year. Even after my angkong passed away in 2004, the party scaled down to a casual dinner with the relatives and a few fireworks in the garden.

But earlier this week, in a move that shocked the entire family, my ama announced that there will be no New Year’s gathering at her house. Suddenly, on the biggest party night of the year all over the city, we had nowhere to go. My brothers and I paced restlessly around the couch wondering what to do. My dad asked if we wanted to play poker. He’s been bitten by the poker bug in a big way. As for me, I wasn’t sure if a straight beat two pairs. But it’s not like we had plans.

To our surprise, we actually had fun. I took a picture of my first winning hand. Right at that moment the sky outside exploded with lights and cheer.

I’m in Singapore this weekend for Jocelyn’s wedding. It’s a day-long affair with many lessons in Chinese wedding traditions.

8:30 am
Jocelyn’s two best girl friends and I are congregated in Jocelyn’s room at the Fullerton Hotel. It’s a gorgeous two-floor suite that lets Jocelyn spy from the bedroom above to the sitting area below. Elliot is coming to pick her up, but we have been given the charge to block his way with all sorts of obstacles. He’s not getting our Jocelyn that easy! At 9 am, Elliot and his groomsmen arrive at the door. Jocelyn’s friend Aileen is a tough gatekeeper. She demands angpao for admission. Angpao is literally a “red envelope” filled with money. The angpao is slipped through the door crack. Aileen peeks inside the envelope, sniffs, hands it back slamming the door. The men cough up more cash. Three offers later, she finally lets them in. But oh! There are many tests prepared for him and he must pass them all in order to be worthy of his bride. First, fifty pushups! Elliot manages ten but cries out his love for Jocelyn in different languages for every one. Then, hands still shaking from the physical exertion, he was to thread three needles, the holes getting smaller and smaller. In old China, it is the wife who was made to perform this task for her future husband as a test of her ability to maintain the household. Today, the man does it to show that he is willing to share in the chores. The next test was for the groom and his men to serenade the bride with two love songs in Tagalog (Elliot, being Singaporean Chinese, couldn’t actually understand what he was singing) and one in Chinese. Then we tested him on how well he knew our dear Jocelyn. He racked his brains for her shoe size, her allergies, her food preferences. And when he didn’t know the answer, he paid us with more angpao! After several more tests (and angpao), he was allowed to approach the staircase. On each step were slips of paper for Jocelyn’s “terms and conditions.” He read them out loud as he rose closer to his goal. Some were mushy, “I promise to tell Jocelyn I love her every day,” some funny, “I promise to clean the fish tank regularly,” some revealing, “I promise to watch my choice of words when I am angry,” while some were sacrifices he grudgingly made, “I promise to stop smoking.” At the top of the stairs, he met the final gatekeeper — future mom in law. She gave him hell, demanding to know how he will treat her daughter. The man was on his knees declaring his utmost devotion for Jocelyn until she relented. The bride and groom are united at last!

10 am
We head to the groom’s house for the tea-serving ceremony. This is traditionally performed during the engagement but they’re improvising. The groom’s mother sits on a chair while the couple kneel before them offering cups of tea. “Mother, please have some tea.” The mother accepts and sips. She gives them a few words of wisdom then angpao. An aunt sits in the chair and the process is repeated. There are other aunts and uncles and older sisters and their husbands. They give their blessing and gifts to the couple. Then it is the bride and groom’s turn to sit in the chairs. The younger generation approach them with cups of tea. Jocelyn and Elliot take small sips and give angpao to the children.

12 pm
We drive back to the hotel where the bride’s family is staying. The tea ceremony takes place once more but with a smaller group. Jocelyn and Elliot kneel in front of her parents who bestow jewelry on them. They lay necklace upon necklace, bracelets and rings. Compared to the earlier ceremony which was rather lively, this time it was solemn. Jocelyn explains to Elliot that the ring he is wearing was one that her mother gave to her father when they got married.

Elliot gives each of us girls angpao again. Aileen informs us that in a very traditional wedding, the groom must provide angpao to the bride’s helpers for every tiny thing they do — from opening the door, carrying her purse, giving her a drink. Sweet.

1 pm
Dimsum lunch at the hotel dining room. So much good food!

2:30 pm
Time to rest and freshen up for the wedding tonight.

How weird is it that I find wrapping presents more fun than opening them? There is a shop in the mall that provides wrapping service for a couple of dollars per gift. I would gladly do it all for free!

To me, the wrapping is just as important as the thing inside. Handmade, pretty wrapping shows you care! You could be giving your loved one a journal or a camera… or you could give them the Christmas experience.

When we were kids, my brothers and I would shake the boxes, try to peek under the seams of the wrapper, and admire our respective stacks under the tree. Now that we are grown up, Christmas has become less about the magic and more about things. When I wrap presents for my family and friends I hope to recapture for them that excitement and giddiness from before. And pretty presents are just more fun!

My gift-wrapping secrets:

I source all my beautiful wrapping paper from Hollander’s. Every time I step in that shop, I find myself coming up with random excuses to give gifts to everyone I know. There needs to be more gift-giving occasions in the year.

Tie gifts up with ribbon. Ask anyone to draw a gift – they always show a box with a bow on top. Ribbon is an essential part of gift-ness.

Write neatly on a card that matches the paper. When you’ve put this much effort into making it look pretty already, you might as well go all the way.

Insert a little Christmas-y ornament like bells or sprigs of holly to make it look extra special.

Next Christmas I’m going to try more advanced wrapping techniques. Pleats and Japanese-style!