We shall see! The new look is growing on me. Nyuk nyuk.

See any resemblance?

Once a week I receive this brochure in my mailbox. Buy stamps online with USPS.com! Simple and convenient! I keep tossing it in the trash. Waste of paper.

Well, one day, I found that I actually ran out of stamps. Not wanting to drive to the post office, I went to their website. I picked out the stamps I wanted then tried to checkout. The checkout system was so annoyingly long and complex. I had to create an account – sure, no problem. But their sign up process was so tedious, I quit in the middle of it. The next day, I really needed those stamps. So I resolved to finish the process online. Except I had to put in all this information (shipping, payment) before I could even see how much my total order was going to be. Finally, 20 minutes later, I finally reached the last page where I review my order and click to submit. Then I saw it. $1 for shipping and handling!? For stamps?! The US Postal Service seriously wants me to pay a dollar to deliver their own stamps?! Oh screw that.

Next morning, I drove my butt down to the post office.

You know, I don’t understand the appeal of intoxication.

Alcohol is said to help relieve one’s inhibitions and make one feel worry-free. During the few times I have consumed more than a glass of anything, I have only become even more guarded. I am uncomfortable with the way my body reacts. I am physically unstable, my response time is slower, I feel vulnerable. Then the next day, I can’t think straight. And that’s only after two beers.

Really, what’s so sexy about blubbering words and tripping and falling on the floor? I don’t get it.

I love this song by Rufus Wainwright – Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk. It costs 99 cents in iTunes, but I just can’t bring myself to click the Buy button. I can’t explain it but I don’t feel I can spend on music, even though I would like to support the artist.

And yet, I don’t think twice about shelling out the same amount of money for new hair for my Second Life avatar. Go figure.

I gotta admit, most days I don’t really know what I want to do with my life. Everyone says it’s “normal” for people my age to feel that way. “Take your time,” some might even add. But considering the opportunities I’ve add, do I really have that luxury? Do any of us?

I feel that there’s this unspoken pressure for my generation to do something great in our 20′s. After all, we had a wealth of resources available to us – a good education (plus top-notch grad studies for some), financial stability, a solid network of influential families and friends, successful and supportive mentors, and finally, that Chinese business sense that supposedly runs in our blood.

I feel that I’ve been given so much, and have nothing spectacular to show for it. Not because I don’t have the abilities or the resources, but because I just don’t know where I’m going. Baggage, is what I’ve got.

I came upon this blog post by Ian Yabarra that asks some soul-searching questions on what your life would look like without baggage, repeated here:

What would you do…
1. if you had a billion dollars? (Now money is no object.)
2. if your parents were completely supportive of any path you chose? (Now your parents can’t make you do something.)
3. if your older sibling(s) weren’t so successful? (Now you’re not trying to live up to something you’re not.)
4. if your friends weren’t all going to work in finance (or another industry)? (Now you’re not letting peer pressure pistol whip you.)
5. if we could all travel at the speed of thought? (Now you can live where you want and work where you want, no problem.)
6. if you had graduated from the best college in the world? (Now you’re not paralyzed by a lack of the “perfect” brand–whatever that is.)
7. if you had gotten perfect grades in school? (Now you’re not hung up on GPA.)
8. if you could start doing it tomorrow? (Now you’re not worried about stress on your family or paying your bills during a transition period.)
9. if you had started doing it back when you wish you had? (Now you’re not thinking it’s too late start now.)
10. What would you do if you could do anything you wanted? (Because you can.)

Something to think about…